The 5:2 Diet for Cats

Rinpoche Eats Clean Food: Part 3

“Daddi, I’m tired of eating like a Cave Cat. Gwyneth thinks I should rather try the 5:2 Diet for Cats. She says I’ve become a little … curvaceous.”

“Do you understand anything about the 5:2 diet?”

“Gwyneth explained it to me, but I got bored and stopped listening.”

“With the 5:2 diet, you eat normally for five days of the week. On the other two days you have to count your calories very carefully.”

“I can only count up to four, Daddi. And what are these ‘calloused knees’ anyway?”

Calories. These are the things in food that make you ‘curvaceous’, Rinpoche. I think the 5:2 diet for cats allows you fifteen calories on your fasting days.”

“Good! That sounds like a lot, Daddi.”

“It isn’t. You are never going to stick to this diet, Rinpoche. You like food too much.”


“Daddi, how long is it until suppertime? I’m starving!”

“I gave you your dinner ten minutes ago, Rinpoche.”

“That was just a snack, Daddi.”

“Rinpoche, you’ve already had five times your calorie allowance today. And where is the cooked chicken I left on the kitchen table. Did you take it?”

“I had to eat it, Daddi. It was a matter of life or death. I’m wasting away!”

“You’ve only been on this diet for an hour, Rinpoche. And what am I supposed to do about my supper now that you’ve eaten my chicken?”

“You can probably skip supper tonight, Daddi. I’ve noticed you are also looking a little curvaceous nowadays.”


“Daddi, Gwyneth says she’s moving to Worcestershire with her family, tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry to hear this, Rinpoche. She was your best friend.”

“No, Daddi, it’s good news. If Gwyneth isn’t here, she won’t know what I’m eating, so I can stop eating clean food.”

“Excellent! We’ll celebrate with a special dinner. What do you fancy?”

“Anything, Daddi. As long as there’s a LOT of it!”

The End

 (Read Part 2 here)  

NOTE: This story was written by Diana Knowles, who also contributed all instalments of the Voting for Trumpet and Rinpoche and Social Media stories. John Hope created this website and wrote the remaining Rinpoche conversations as well as the Catspeak pages, beautifully illustrated by Julie Hope. Sadly, John died in 2006, and we have no further material by this talented author, but Diana will keep writing new Rinpoche blogs. We are greatly indebted to John’s wife, Andrea, for turning the creative project he planned into a reality.

(Click here to read more about John, Julie, Andrea and Diana)

Coming soon: The Cult of the Cat

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