Catspeak School

Lesson 1: Creature Words – cont’d. 

Ayoomfa [ay-oom-fah]

This is the Catspeak word for human. It also covers gorillas, orangutans, chimpanzees, and baboons, as cats do not see any purpose in distinguishing between the various primates. Some examples of ayoomfas are shown here.

Guelph  [gwelf]

Any quadrupeds bigger than cats, and other than cats or dogs, are lumped together under the banner of guelph. Some guelphs serve as food animals for the ayoomfas while others serve as conveyances.


Slinki [sling-kee]

Slinki spans all reptiles, fish and amphibians. More specifically, fish are known as plappa-slinkis, while prawns, lobsters, crabs and the like are known as pink sea-slinkis. Goldfish have a special name all of their own – gulpa. Slinkis that are green in colour are not generally good eating and can cause bloik-bloik.

Squees, Yhats & Hopits [skwees, yats & hop-its]

Food animals. A squee is a mouse, vole, mole, shrew or anything about the same size. These small creatures form the basis of the traditional diet. Larger rodents such as rats, weasels, stoats and ferrets are known as yhats. The largest food animal is a rabbit – these are called hopits.

Inside every food animal is a green-grey object known as a blibble, which a cat must carefully remove. The blibble is best put aside for ayoomfas to dispose of, for if eaten, it can cause  bloik-bloik.

– to be continued – (read Part 1 of Lesson 1 here)

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