Catspeak School

Lesson 2: Food and Drink Words

Plokkits [plok-kits]

Any food presented as dry pellets. The adjective rumph (crunchy) is often used. For commercial reasons plokkits are often shaped to resemble certain objects that ayoomfas will recognise, such as little fish, little bones, and little vejtibils.

Kukri [kook-ri]

Food in tins or messy pouches that is wet, sloppy, and stinks. Kukri manufacturers devise a variety of delicious-sounding descriptions like gourmet salmon fillets in gravy to entice gullible ayoomfas to buy what is in practice nothing more nor less than  pink-brown sludge made from goodness-knows-what, politely described as ‘animal derivatives’.

Kukri that is past the point of acceptability is known as Phol Kukri (bad Kukri) and can cause bloik-bloik

-to be continued-

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