Catspeak Lesson 2: Food & Drink Words

You’ve probably already established that cats have their own words for food and drink items. Let’s dive straight in! 

Plokkits [plok-kits] – Any food presented as dry pellets. The adjective rumph (crunchy) is often used. For commercial reasons plokkits are often shaped to resemble certain objects that ayoomfas will recognise, such as little fish, little bones, and little vejtibils.

A sack of pellets or kibble being eaten by a cat.

Kukri [kook-ri] – Food in tins or messy pouches that is wet, sloppy, and stinks. Kukri manufacturers devise a variety of delicious-sounding descriptions like gourmet salmon fillets in gravy to entice gullible ayoomfas to buy what is in practice nothing more nor less than pink-brown sludge made from goodness-knows-what, politely described as ‘animal derivatives’.

Kukri that is past the point of acceptability is known as Phol Kukri (bad Kukri) and can cause bloik-bloik

Canned cat food or pohl kukri in catspeak

Humvee [hum-vee]
Unspecified dairy fluid, usually cream. If it’s good, it’s called kru Humvee. If it’s exceptionally good, it’s called qolliti  Humvee.

Plappa Humvee [plup-pa hum-vee]  – Milk.

HullaBulla [hulla-bulla]
Any thick, dairy gloop such as yoghurt, cottage cheese, processed spread cheese etc. Hullabulla often comes in a potta with a lidda.

Hullablokka [hulla-blocka] – Cheese.

Plappa [plup-pa] – Water. Plappa is often used as a modifier to describe creatures that are found in or on water, such as plappa-chirrits and plappa-ayoomfas (scuba divers). Plappa is also used as a modifier to describe liquids of low viscosity, such as plappa-humvee (milk).

While cats are fascinated by water, they do not like getting wet, because wet is not beautiful and they lose face.

Cat fascinated with water in the toilet
Cat climbing out of the pond. Original illustration by Cato9tales

Fribis [free-bees] – Table tidbits, ad-hoc snacks, and food purloined from ayoomfas. 

Always trust your cat. 

Cat thief stealing chicken from the table. Original illustration by Cato9tales
Cat with a whole chicken on 'Fryday' Friday
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