Every Girl Needs Some Magic in her Life


“Daddi, I’m never going to visit Vet Lady again.”

“Why is that, Rinpoche? I thought you liked Dr Grey?”

“She’s very nice, but she’s boring, Daddi. From now on, I’m going to see Dr Gwyneth instead. She’s my new doctor.”

“Please tell me you are not talking about your friend, Gwyneth? That cat is an absolute scatterbrain!”

“Gwyneth is not a cattlebrain, Daddi. She’s the best refluxologist in Gloucestershire.”

“What on earth is a refluxologist?”

“Dr Gwyneth feels and massages her patients’ paws, Daddi. By doing this, she finds out which parts of a patient’s body are unhealthy. Yesterday, she diagnosed that I’ve been having twinges of pain in my tail lately. How did she know that? It’s amazing!”

“No, it isn’t. You’ve told her about it last week when I accidentally stepped on your tail. At the time it happened, you said you were going straight to Gwyneth’s house to tell her what a ‘clumsy idiot’ I had been.”

“Well, even if I did tell her, it’s still amazing that she remembered, Daddi. And you are a clumsy idiot sometimes.”

“Rinpoche, I can’t understand why you would trust your featherbrained friend, Gwyneth, more than you trust Dr Grey, who has impressive qualifications and years of experience.”

“Dr Gwyneth makes her own magical pills, Daddi. Those pills cure everything! They are so much better than the awful medicine that Vet Lady gives me.”

“How does she make these pills?”

“She picks special mushrooms and chews them until she makes a soft paste. Then she rolls the mixture into little balls. When Dr Gwyneth gave me some pills yesterday, they made me feel so happy that I forgot all about my sore tail. I couldn’t stop laughing, and I saw beautiful lights and stars as well as a brightly coloured rainbow.”

“That’s because you were stoned, Rinpoche.” Twelve Days of Catmas - a tear in your precious settee

“That’s ridiculous, Daddi! Nobody was throwing stones at me.”

“No, I mean you were high.”

“I wasn’t, Daddi. I was sitting on the ground at the time. Though I did feel like I was flying like a bird.”

“Rinpoche, you obviously had magic mushrooms. They have a psychedelic effect. Gwyneth has unwittingly given you a potentially dangerous drug. Promise me you won’t take any more of those pills!”

“Why are you always such a spoilsport, Daddi? Don’t you realise that every girl needs some magic in her life?”

Header photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

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