cat_conductorCats are inherently party animals, but you seldom see them partying, because they are greatly concerned about losing face in front of their human catering staff. It’s bad for discipline and engenders disrespect, so they only party when there is little chance of being observed. Music plays an important part of a cat’s party life, and many cats are accomplished musicians with mastery over several instruments. But again, it’s improbable that you’ll ever see a cat musician at work, because you’re very unlikely to be in the right place at the right time.1Have a look at the sample songs (below) from each of our books: Christmas Carols for Cats, Nursery Rhymes for Cats, Christmas Crackers – Festive Feline Limericks, by the celebrated Bunny Pudding (Colonel, retd) of the U.S. 111th Hysterical Brigade. Col.Pudding is seen here while receiving the Purple Heart for keeping her uniform spotless while in the filthy jungles of Vietnam. The multi-talented Col. Pudding will be a regular feature in future Cato9tales projects.


Collar Bells (sing to Jingle Bells)


Collar bell, collar bells
Scares the birds away
O I hate this stupid thing
It’s right with me night and day

Refrain: Stalking through the grass
Jingling sound of brass
Caught nothing for a week
Feeling like a freak

Collar pink, collar pink
O I really pray
I can wriggle out of this
The guys all think I’m gay


Collar smells, collar smells
Catching all the fleas
Everyone just treats me like
I have a bad disease




Car Car Back Seat (sing to Baa Baa Black Sheep)


Car car back seat
I am such a fool
Bribed with biscuits
Veterinary bull
Once for deworming
And once for the shots
Once for a-hurling
And once for the trots

Car Car back seat
Waiting with the mutts
Close your eyes and
Hold on to your nuts



Festive Feline Limericks


A kitty who stole food for leisure
Would hoard it all just like some treasure
But a fish on a plate
It acted as bait
Now he’s awaiting Her Majesty’s Pleasure

Two cats with great drive and ambition
Did study to be magicians
And they cast a great spell
So they could fortell
Each mouse and bird’s present position

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