Paw-maiden of Prophet Mumbo Jumbo

The Cult of the Cats: Part 1

“Why are you walking backwards and making that awful keening sound, Rinpoche?”

“Daddi, I’m trying to reach The Thirteenth Level of Wisdom in order to become a paw-maiden of The Great Mumbo Jumbo.”

“I don’t understand one word you’ve said, Rinpoche!”

“Daddi, I have seen the light!”

“And I’m completely in the dark. Who is this Great Mumbo Jumbo?”

“He’s a very wise prophet from the Far East, Daddi.”

“Tell me more about him.”

“Well, Daddi, one night, a giant golden cat appeared to him in a dream and warned him that the Dark Dog Days would soon bring destruction to the world. To save us all from certain doom, Mumbo Jumbo would have to find the Holey Cheese.”

“The Holy Cheese?”

“The cheese with many holes in it, Daddi. The one you call Mental Cheese.”


“Yes. After much searching, Mumbo Jumbo finally found this cheese and read the message formed by the holes. It said that he would have to travel to Gloucestershire and gather together an army of loyal paw-maidens to help him prevent the dawning of The Dark Dog Days. Mumbo Jumbo’s glorious army would be known as ‘The Cult of the Cats’.”

“He read all this on one piece of cheese?”

“It was a big cheese, Daddi.”

“Rinpoche, you should not become involved in this nonsense. Cults can be very dangerous.”

“Only to the dogs that oppose us, Daddi. We shall fight them on the beaches … and in the streets. We shall never surrender!”

You couldn’t win a fight against a flying insect, Rinpoche, let alone against an army of dogs!”

“Daddi, my faith in The Great Mumbo Jumbo has made me much stronger. And once I pass the Thirteenth Test of Wisdom today and become a paw-maiden, I will be truly unstoppable!”


– to be continued –

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