Rinpoche Gives a Psychic Reading

Rinpoche the cat giving a psychic reading

“I give psychic readings now, Daddi. Would you like me to do one for you?”

“I think that stuff is a lot of nonsense, Rinpoche.”

“Daddi, I know you’re a septic, but…”

“I’m a sceptic with good reason, Rinpoche. Since when have you had these alleged psychic powers?”

“I was born with the sixth sense, Daddi. All cats have it. But lately my psychic talents have miraculously increased. I’ll show you if you let me do a reading.”

“Well … all right, go ahead. What harm can it do?”

“Come closer, Daddi, and gaze into my eyes…”

“Phew, Rinpoche, what have you been eating? Your breath smells awful!”

“It’s just an old fish head I found in the bin, Daddi.”In the bin looking for fish heads

“Well, step back a little. I can still gaze into your eyes from this distance.”

“Quiet please, Daddi. I need to concentrate… I’m getting a message now… Do you know someone whose name begins with the letter R?”

“Not really – excepting for you, of course.”

“The message is coming through strongly, Daddi. Someone whose name begins with R is telling me that she is suffering and only you can help her.”

“Why is she suffering?”

“She has severe hunger pangs, Daddi. She wants you to feed her… Wait, I’m picking up another message from her!  She says you must buy more tins of Happy Kitty Seafood Bouillabaisse. She doesn’t like that horrible liver stew you’ve been giving her lately.”

“Surely psychics only receive messages from those who have passed on – not from the living?”

“They can get messages from anyone, Daddi.”

“Well, tell this someone whose name begins with R that it’s only four o’ clock in the afternoon, and it’s far too early for her dinner.”

“She won’t listen, Daddi.”

“Rinpoche, how many psychic readings have you actually done?”

“Only yours, Daddi.”

“Now why do I feel I’ve been shamelessly manipulated?”

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