“You seem lost in thought, Rinpoche. I’ve been calling you repeatedly.”
“I’m sorry, Daddi. I was thinking about my New Year revolution.”
“Your revolution?”
“Yes, Daddi. Do you remember how you told me that many humans plan a revolution at this time of the year because they want to make a fresh start and break their bad habits?”
“Oh, you mean a New Year’s resolution! Well, New Year’s Day is over, but it’s never too late for self-improvement. Have you decided on a good resolution?”
“No, Daddi, that’s the problem. How can I improve my behaviour when I don’t have any faults or bad habits? I’m already a purrfect cat.”
“And so modest and humble too!”
“Yes, Daddi, I’m the humblest cat in the world!”
“How about making a resolution not to hunt my garden birds?”
“I don’t hunt them often, Daddi. It wouldn’t be worth wasting my revolution on something that’s just an occasional mistake.”
“You might also consider a resolution not to wake Mummi and me up at some ridiculous time every morning by meowing loudly and scratching our bedroom door.”
“I’m just saying hello, Daddi.”
“Well, I wish you’d choose a more considerate time to do it.”
“Daddi, it’s really unkind of you to pick on me when you have so many faults yourself!”
“What faults?”
“You know how much I hate it when you yowl like a sick cat in the magic rain box – the one you call the ‘shower’.”
“I like singing in the shower, Rinpoche. I’ve told you that it makes me feel happy.”
“Well, it doesn’t make me happy when I hear you. It hurts my poor little ears.”
“Nonsense, Rinpoche! I have a good voice. Many people have told me that I sound like the late Bing Crosby.”
“I don’t know who this Bring Cross Bees was, Daddi, but he must have had an awful voice if he sounded like you. And your yowling is even worse when you’ve had too much to drink from your bottles of red water.”
“I don’t drink too much wine, Rinpoche.”
“You shouldn’t drink any, Daddi; it makes you silly. In fact, considering all your impurrfections, you urgently need to start working on several revolutions immediately!”