Rinpoche’s Basest Instincts

The Joys of Reality TV: Part 2

“Did you hear the judges’ decision, Daddi? The footballers, Mark Rushfood and Kevin Tripper, have tied as today’s losers of My Kitchen Sucks.”

“But their dishes seem much more appetizing than those of the other contestants! Mark’s roast beef is delicately pink and succulent, and Kevin’s Yorkshire pudding looks fluffy and light.”

“You’ve missed the point, Daddi. The footballers were supposed to cook authentic British traditional dishes – not poncy-looking French food.”

“What happens now that there’s a tie for the place of loser? Will both footballers be given red cards and banished from the kitchen?”

“No, Daddi. The competition goes into extra time. The two contestants will cook a traditional British dessert of their choice, but they have to work under extreme conditions.”

“Such as?”

“The worst behaved British football fans in the audience will be invited to trash the kitchen before extra time begins. The two footballers will also be blindfolded while they cook, and a strict ‘handfood’ rule will be enforced.”

“What does that mean?”

“Their hands must not come into contact with the food they prepare.”

“Rinpoche, I don’t understand why you watch so many cooking shows when you never cook.”

“It’s fun to see the contestants being humiliated, Daddi.”

“Well, I’m changing channels right now! This show is bringing out your basest instincts.”

“But, Daddi, I haven’t seen who the loser is yet! I want to watch him being booed out of the kitchen.”

“Too bad, Rinpoche! It’s time for my favourite quiz show, The Lamest Loser.”

“Is that the one in which that nasty lady keeps insulting the contestants and calling them stupid?”

“Well, yes, I suppose so … but that’s a bit of an oversimplification.”

“Daddi, what were you saying about my basest instincts?”

The End

(Read Part 1 here)

Coming Soon: A Travelling Cat


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