“To be or not to be, Daddi.”
“To be what, Rinpoche?”
“Daddi, that is the question.”
“Rinpoche, you are not making sense. Why are you quoting Shakespeare?”
“I’m not quoting Shakespeare, Daddi. I’m quoting my new best friend, Socates.”
“Socrates? Like the great Greek philosopher?”
“No, Daddi, I’m talking about Socates, Gloucestershire great philosopher. He’s the wisest grey cat I’ve ever known! He’s taught me a whole new way of thinking about life. Look at that table over there, Daddi. What do you see?”
“I see a table.”
“It’s not really a table, Daddi. It’s merely an imitation of the Form of a table.”
“No, it isn’t. It’s a real table – ugly but practical. I bought it at a garage sale.”
“You are seeing a mere shadow of its real essence, Daddi. What is beauty? What is virtue? What is truth?”
“Why are you asking all these questions, Rinpoche?”
“It’s the Socatic method, Daddi. Socates never spoon-feeds his friends and followers. He guides them along the path of wisdom by asking them questions that will make them think about important matters. You should take the time to reflect, Daddi.”
“You might think I’m an ignorant peasant, Rinpoche, but right now it’s more important for me to get to work on time than it is to reflect on the meaning of life.”
“You are right, Daddi. I do think you are an ignorant pheasant.”
****
Where’s My Fish, Rinpoche?
“Rinpoche, where are the two pieces of crumbed fish that were on a plate in the kitchen? I left them there briefly while I went to answer the phone, and now they are gone. Did you take them?”
“Perhaps I did and perhaps I didn’t. Daddi.”
“Don’t talk nonsense, Rinpoche! Nobody else could have done this.”
“Maybe Mummi did it, Daddi.”
“Of course she didn’t! Mummi doesn’t like raw fish. Besides, she wouldn’t steal her own supper. Tell the truth, Rinpoche! You took the fish, didn’t you?”
“I admit that I took it, Daddi, but I can’t be blamed for my actions.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Socates says there’s no such thing as free will. That means I was driven by uncontrollable impulses to take the fish. I’m innocent of wrongdoing, Daddi.”
“Rinpoche, if you ever steal our food again, I will be driven by uncontrollable impulses to make your life a misery!”
